I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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