I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
