I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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