I want you more than these girls want KFC
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
