Barsexuality is the new black.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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