I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
