Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
