i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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