if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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