Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
