Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
