Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
