I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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