Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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