we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
4 words: hood of his car
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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