so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
