Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
