i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
