she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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