guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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