I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
