Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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