Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
