And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
