Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
