You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
