he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
