I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
