The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
