when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
