I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
