saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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