doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
