just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
