I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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