Tell her she can't have a vagina
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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