they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Welp...herpes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
