if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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