I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
