I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
