we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
