He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
