why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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