I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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