I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
