he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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