I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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