You can't motorboat a personality
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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