I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
