Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
