Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You're my little dorito
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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