No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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