You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
