There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
